confused, yes. do i know what i'm doing? the resounding answer to that is, "NO!"
some think i got "it" all figured out because i go to church and am part of a church family. that does not mean i know what is going on or what will my plans are for the future.
like, ryan. i love ryan and i don't think that's going to change. i thought going on a date would help, it didn't. i thought flirting with someone who was showing some interest would help, it didn't. i don't believe me moving ot of our house will help me at all. i'd just be lost and mostly alone.
oh he guy i was flirting with last week, was a cool guy and ry was a bit disappointed that i didn't get any contact info for him. so, i found a way to get to his softball tourney yesterday. it turns out that an old friend was in the same league, now i had a good reason to be there. hahaha... then i found out that the guy i was flirting with is definitely more than 4 years younger than me and showed no interest in me. so much for learning to get my "mac" on. i really didn't feel like doing it anywho, it wouldn't be fair to myself or the other person. yeah, dating someone while in love with another shouldn't work. at least i don't believe it should.
the upside to all this is that i know i can still feel love.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Randomness!!!
Why do I call this randomness? Well, that's how I am. My thoughts are sometimes totally off the radar from a current talk I'm having. I seriously need conversational traffic lights to help me and others know where I'm going with whatever I'm blabbering about.
I'm not saying that what I talk about is nonsense, it just sounds like gibberish unless you take a little effort to decode it. I can't always position my thoughts and words in the correct order; but, after you put the puzzle together we got ourselves a fun conversation. That's part of the reason I'm a Toastmaster. It isn't to bring a bad name to the organization and it isn't to rid a fear of public speaking (I'm a born soapbox speaker)... I'm in the club to enhance the organization of my thoughts. Granted, going back to college for a Composition course "might" do the same trick but I think having Toastmasters on a resume looks better.
Quick epiphany... I love puzzle games and that might be what's playing into the formatting of my thoughts. I also loved the book Freakonomics because it gets people thinking outside the box. Although I may sound like I'm speaking in riddle sometimes, I still need to work on thinking outside the box and in the other parties'perspective.
Before I work on thinking from other peoples' point of view, I need to know who I am and where I stand on things. Self reflection is something I'll be focusing in the next couple weeks. Knowing who I am should assist me in finding out who I'd want to be with, right?
I know this much about myself. I love country and most things related to it. I am into grunge, rock, metal, hip-hop, and I enjoy participating in all sports. Now I just need to get my lazy body out of this stupid chair that I've been stuck in for years now.
I'll be requesting a couple vaca days from work and I'll, of course, use them right next to a weekend. Oh, this isn't just for the self-reflection... this is because I can't remember when the last time was that I took a real, relaxing vacation somewhere.
Now I just need to plan on an activity or a destination. I'm contacting my long lost relatives to see if we can spend some time getting re-acquainted. Oh, I'm sorry... I'm the long lost relative that nobody could find. Then again, I don't think they tried hard enough. Just Google me and I'm like the first page of results.
I'm not saying that what I talk about is nonsense, it just sounds like gibberish unless you take a little effort to decode it. I can't always position my thoughts and words in the correct order; but, after you put the puzzle together we got ourselves a fun conversation. That's part of the reason I'm a Toastmaster. It isn't to bring a bad name to the organization and it isn't to rid a fear of public speaking (I'm a born soapbox speaker)... I'm in the club to enhance the organization of my thoughts. Granted, going back to college for a Composition course "might" do the same trick but I think having Toastmasters on a resume looks better.
Quick epiphany... I love puzzle games and that might be what's playing into the formatting of my thoughts. I also loved the book Freakonomics because it gets people thinking outside the box. Although I may sound like I'm speaking in riddle sometimes, I still need to work on thinking outside the box and in the other parties'perspective.
Before I work on thinking from other peoples' point of view, I need to know who I am and where I stand on things. Self reflection is something I'll be focusing in the next couple weeks. Knowing who I am should assist me in finding out who I'd want to be with, right?
I know this much about myself. I love country and most things related to it. I am into grunge, rock, metal, hip-hop, and I enjoy participating in all sports. Now I just need to get my lazy body out of this stupid chair that I've been stuck in for years now.
I'll be requesting a couple vaca days from work and I'll, of course, use them right next to a weekend. Oh, this isn't just for the self-reflection... this is because I can't remember when the last time was that I took a real, relaxing vacation somewhere.
Now I just need to plan on an activity or a destination. I'm contacting my long lost relatives to see if we can spend some time getting re-acquainted. Oh, I'm sorry... I'm the long lost relative that nobody could find. Then again, I don't think they tried hard enough. Just Google me and I'm like the first page of results.
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